Pigeon John is Dating Your Sister

That's the title of a CD by one of my favorite rappers, Pigeon John.

(He's a Christian.)

As you know, he's not actually dating your sister (if you have one). He's not dating mine, either. Still, a guy that my sister introduced me to years ago is now dating my sister. I found out last night from my dad and she confirmed for me today. Actually, she used the word "courting*".

People date all the time, I know (well, maybe not around here, but you know what I mean). It's not a big deal that my sister is dating, but then again, it is, because she's my sister. They've been friends for years, and I've known him relatively well for years. Talk has been very seriously lately, so this may be a prayer point that you hear about soon.

*What's the difference between dating and courting?

It seems like many books have been written concerning relationships and marriage, most of which I haven't read. The two that I have perused make a good point, though. We tend to get hung up over terms, instead of looking at the principle of the matter--what we actually do. Instead of wondering so much, "what do I call it when I'm more than friends with someone, but not yet married?", we should ask ourselves, "am I pleasing God by the way I'm dealing with this person?" or "am I being considerate of this person?"

Dating & courting can both be God-honoring, or they both can be bad. It depends on what we make out the definition of either word to be, through our actions.

Some Christians use the term courtship because it shows that there's a direction or purpose for the relationship: to discover whether or not two people should marry. An ended coursthip doesn't mean failure, and it doesn't have to mean an awkward friendship afterwards. It just means, "I'm not using you for emotional, social, or physical reasons". With dating (the world's way), the consideration of marriage doesn't have to be a factor.

1) People sometimes date just to have a good time in the present, with focus on self and without concern for the other person.

2) And sometimes, there's no deliberate communication regarding a sustained relationship, so the people are on different pages and eventually frustration ensues due to misunderstanding.

3) Or, people are on the same page regarding their relationship; they just agree to say "we're only friends" though in reality they nurture an exclusive and intimate relationship, and then later become shocked at the realization that a soul-tie has developed.

A lot of people find themselves in situations like these and then decide to marry... God is sovereign and can bless us despite our misteps, but it seems like honesty from the beginning yields less chance for heartbreak.

I don't mean to sound like I'm above ever having done any of those things. Most church-going folks who live to see adulthood probably have. I'm no expert; these are just my thoughts and observations...

My point in all this is to remind everybody that as Christians we have the responsibility to... well, be responsible. Especially us guys, being that we are supposed to lead. It's all about the golden rule, I guess.

Feel free to post your thoughts, expriences if you'd like, etc.